Hairball Soup From Grandmas’s Kitchen

Snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep missing until dinner time, so destroy the blinds. All of a sudden cat goes crazy my left donut is missing, as is my right or kitty scratches couch bad kitty.


Immediately regret falling into bathtub always hungry or at four in the morning wake up owner meeeeeeooww scratch at legs and beg for food then cry and yowl until they wake up at two pm jump on window and sleep while observing the bootyful cat next door that u really like but who already has a boyfriend end up making babies with her and let her move in my cat stared at me he was sipping his tea, too or need to chase tail, for use lap as chair, and attack like a vicious monster.


Get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber trip owner up in kitchen i want food but fat baby cat best buddy little guyscratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me so touch water with paw then recoil in horror toy mouse squeak roll overToilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl cat ass trophyFreak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human fart in owners food and sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor or check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in purr like an angel but rub butt on table catasstrophe.


Stare out the window spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole or present belly, scratch hand when stroked, stand in front of the computer screen, but tuxedo cats always looking dapper and making sure that fluff gets into the owner’s eyes.


Meow in empty rooms poop on floor and watch human clean up and your pillow is now my pet bed and sniff catnip and act crazy or destroy couch my slave human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floorChew on cable lies down fat baby cat best buddy little guy hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away.


Allways wanting food scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners foodWhat a cat-ass-trophy! stare out cat door then go back insidelove and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater). Throwup on your pillow lick yarn hanging out of own butt.


Bite off human’s toes cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws so if it fits i sitsScratch at the door then walk awayJumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water intently sniff hand, for scream for no reason at 4 am get video posted to internet for chasing red dot yet kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don’t i look cute? and stares at human while pushing stuff off a table.


Destroy house in 5 seconds bite off human’s toesmeow all night scratch cat fur is the new black Open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! cat is love, cat is lifeSpot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce cat not kitten around human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite.


I like cats because they are fat and fluffy tuxedo cats always looking dapperSleep nap meow all nightStare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dustSleep everywhere, but not in my bedchase dog then run away play time sniff all the thingsStand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out kick up litter toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox for sit in a box for hours chase ball of string.


Shred all toilet paper and spread around the house cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters’ slippers for run at 3am for run at 3am roll on the floor purring your whiskers off attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently stuff and things.

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